coldplay "paradise" parody

Once, I thought this was funny and a good idea. Pretty much abandoned it. Coldplay "Paradise"parody "Pair of Balls".

near death & auditions

Today I had a rare moment of road rage. It occurred on the 110 freeway, or more specifically the Arroyo Seco Parkway, which is the first freeway in the United States of motherfuzzing America. I'm also pretty certain the Parkway hasn't had any major renovations in my lifetime until this year, as part of Obama's Stimulus Package (not a sexual intercourse joke).

State funded workers changed the charming and historic wood and steel center dividers into concrete. I had always imagined the short wooden pillars one day becoming petrified, long after we abandoned our dependency on gasoline driven cars. Sadly, the new dividers now serve as another surface for vandalism and bad graffiti. Changes are necessary though and I still like Obama and Stimulus Packages (this is a sexual intercourse joke).



Anycrap, the onramps to the Parkway are stop signs with no room to gain any speed. You enter oncoming traffic at almost a complete zero. The speed limit in 1940 was 45mph or 70km/h. I will now use the metric system because I'm opposed to both imperialism and imperial units.

So I'm approaching the onramp, 20 meters away at a speed of 96km/h, and a car enters the Parkway. I slam on my brakes. My tires screech. Is everyone okay? My heart is beating, so yes. I can breathe still. I'm alive. That was a close one. I'm not even mad.



Then I catch up to the car. I see it's an EV, electric vehicle. That pisses me off. How can you be environmentally responsible but you can't double check before veering onto a freeway, on I what I would argue is the most dangerous onramp in all the United States of motherfuzzing America?

Still not in road rage mode, I pursue the car and almost miss my next exit. After I pull alongside the EV, I scope out the driver and his passenger and notice the old dude's rear view mirror. It's totally off kilter. It's literally at 45 degrees. I begin to yell. I follow him and glare as their car exits the freeway.



I arrive minutes later to help audition girls for a new horror web series I will star in for Daily Motion directed by Jake Barsha. It went well. I had to yell at a number of girls and a lot of them cried. I felt bad after. I gave one a high five. I made sure to tell them have a great day. I grabbed a tissue for one from another room.

Just who will get the part, I don't know. Auditioning is a strange process from both sides. A high percentage of the girls did a very good job. A few, not so well. A couple just seemed right for the part. I think there's a lot of luck involved, although I think we predominantly make our own luck.

Oddly enough, I will probably cut someone off on the freeway within the next couple months or do something equally as negligent. I can only hope the outcome is the same or better and somehow a little luck is involved.



The photograph above is an elevated bicycle path that was in the nearby area before the Parkway was built. How awesome would it be if bicycle paths were built like this again? If you use your luck, and you can make anything happen.

so little time...

I haven't registered to vote yet. Have you? I'm not voting for the ticket with the MILF. Sure she's cute and I like her hair and glasses, but as soon as she tries to communicate everything around me dies. I'm talking about appetites, house plants, etc. In my view, McCain uses hatchets and Obama is a surgeon with a scalpel. Can't wait for the comedy that will be the Vice Presidential Debates!

Albert turned down appearances on America's Got Talent and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He doesn't particularly want to be known only for his Spit Art, or be exploited by big corporate television conglomerates. The O'Brien Show wanted him to draw a cartoon version of Conan which totally negated his artistic integrity. Albert says, and I agree, he would be much better suited for an interview by Charlie Rose.



The second film I starred in, Parade, won the Audience Choice Award at the Washougal International Film Festival, its first festival appearance.

The first film I starred in, Things You Don't Tell was supposed to be for sale and released on Netflix. Apparently, the DVDs haven't even been produced!?! I don't have a copy of my own and doubly frustrated by that and announcing it to my all my e-friends when it doesn't yet exist. I offer my apologies and hope you still are interested when it is finally released.

first movie on netflix

Hope you had a great summer. What did you do? I just got back from Yosemite and am in San Francisco now.



The first movie i acted in, Things You Don't Tell is finally available for rent on Netflix.
So if you can, please watch it and then write to me!!! It's available for purchase at bestbuy. com and amazon. com.

Also, I recently wrapped my 4th feature called 0’s and 1’s.. It ought to be really good. My third, Eugene, has just finished post-production. The second Parade will be screened at The Washougal International Film Festival in Washougal, WA Thursday, August, 21st 2008 at 10PM. If you have any questions, let me have them...

when the earth goes quake

It was a rather hot day. A dip in the pool would have been nice. My teenage cousin Brian and I were outside cleaning up from a party. Spilled candy from a pinata, bottles and cans, plates with the remains of half eaten tacos. Suddenly, the house began to shake and the mobile home began to rattle loudly. It's pretty frightening at first when you don't know what's happening, but being outside is fairly safe. It lasted pretty long or at least seemed to. Long enough for my brother Albert, who got woken up, to run outside screaming and completely naked. Bewildered, Brian and I looked at him and then looked at each other. Everyone was stunned. I imagine even nearby birds had a laugh at that moment.

The film Parade I am in, about a rite of passage during young adulthood, has been accepted into the Washougal International Film Festival. Also, the first film I acted in, called Things You Don't Tell is available on DVD at Amazon.com. More on these developments later...

one task at a time

Everyone knows it is best to do one task at a time. Before you use the restroom for number one, you must drink water. So be extra careful to focus when drinking water. Personally, i don't drink soda or coffee.

website: An Australian guy who was recently left by his wife wants to change his entire life to help cope, so he's auctioning it off. Even his friends and job. i love Australians! Getting to the point, I can't sell my whole life, but I got some burnt toast and a few problems I'd like to auction off. Anyone?

music: The National are from Ne York. They are a great band. I fell in love with the song "Fake Empire".

dvd: Lake of Fire is a really hard hitting and graphic documentary about abortion issues in America and the problems that arise from them. I agree with Noam Chomsky on this issue, who is interviewed in the film. What's your opinion?

pimplywimp: Albert had a show at Dirty Pilot. They have a wonderful online gallery of his work. Here's a direct quote from them: "We are thrilled to be showing Albert's work this month!! Dirty Pilot has published a 32 page 4-color zine to commemorate this show."

My video "LisaNova Naked by 2013? McCain Ad Parody" got featured in YouTube's comedy section. I think that's cool.

2008 begins

With a bang and a ricochet. Soon I will post the trailer for the film I starred in called Parade. The Parade website explains the film and includes many photos. If you are interested in seeing the film or have any feedback, please leave a comment.

Here are a couple links of interest...Obviously people like to play with a drum machine. If you are a fan of mashups then visit this The Kleptones for free full album downloads.

Albert has a new art show called Something Wicked in San Francisco at Ampersand International Arts. This is his artist statement for the show: "I was born in Los Angeles, California in 1971 and currently reside there where I am trying to make it as an artist. I show and sell my work in both L.A. and San Francisco, at galleries I trust. I guess my art is a form of Pop Humanism or maybe even Folk, being that I am a mother folker. My work is about my life and the meaningfulness and meaninglessness of my uniquely American experience. I attempt to capture and reveal beauty by commenting on culture, politics, and religion. Ignorance is bliss. I am a people person and enjoy entertaining people, although pissing them off can be fun too. If I cannot get a positive reaction I know I can get a negative one rather easily. I love to draw and cannot hold down a real job, so please buy my artwork. Drive safely and have a good night."

2007 in review

Anybody have any ideas for a list of the most goodest bestest viral videos of 2007? My choices include Will Farrell's "The Landlord", Miss South Carolina, Tay Zonday's "Chocolate Rain", Chris Crocker's "Leave Britney Alone", SNL's "Dick In A Box", Dramatic Chipmunk, and 2Girls1Cup (this one is definitely not for everyone). Some of these were popularized with remixes and reactions that created a cultural phenomenon and made the videos much more fun. What videos do you think I neglected?

I just finished acting in my third feature film. I play a heroin user who sells himself to feed the addiction. Ought to be dark, provocative, and interesting. More word on that as it's received. As for Albert, another great art show. And yeah 2007 was amazing!

what's up?

Hello! Hope you had a great summer. I most certainly have; with plenty of friends, family, and tavel. I edited a feature film that I star in and found out that my first feature film, Things You Don't Tell, will have distribution in Australia, Brazil, Greece, and South Africa. Also, I starred in a pilot which may be available on iTunes soon...

Albert has been busy making art. He is on a DVD that is now available on Netflix, though it's admittedly not his best interview. He was recently featured on the popular blog Daily Candy.



In video news, Albert's Spit Art was featured on a program about web videos on CNN. It was also featured on the pilot to the CW's new show about web videos called Online Nation which includes our friend Stevie Ryan as a host. Episodes are available at the CW website.



Although Ryan hasn't made any videos in a while, a video he edited for his work, the hilarious and entertaining, GoPotato.tv was featured on YouTube. The Inappropriate Yoga Guy has 1.8 million hits and even inspired a New York Times article. The writer/star is friend Avi Rothman, who you might recognize from our collaboration, Holy Sh!t. Don't fret, school's almost over. Love, Ryan.

art show & news

Albert is having an art show in South Pasadena at Bent with new drawings, paintings, and prints. If you can join us, please do. It's going to be fun!



He aslo recently had his artwork appear in the magazines Swindle and Chicano Art Magazine.



And then there was his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live doing Spit Art which earned him a nomination for the first annual YouTube Video Awards.





Ryan has been busy finishing reshoots on his second feature film, Parade which will be ready for festivals in August. He has also been busy making videos which have recently been featured on YouTube, MySpace, Veoh, & LiveVideo.

art show & online videos

It's been too long, so without further adieux...Albert is having an art show near downtown L.A. at Show Cave with new drawings, paintings, prints, and video work. The show will also include video work by his brother Ryan and the talented Stevie Ryan.



Staying on the topic of videos, Albert's Spit Art video was featured on BoingBoing and CollegeHumor, while Ryan's videos were recently featured on MTVu and MySpace.

Pimplywimp recently reached 4,000 subscribers on YouTube while the videos, YouTube: The Movie and Spit Art, each have a million hits. Thanks to everyone who subscribes, watches, and leaves comments on the videos. It means a lot to us and is much appreciated.

spit, a great idea?

Happy Holidays!!! It's been a great year for both Albert and myself. We are very thankful for everyone who has sent us nice comments and emails. The upcoming year is going to be exciting for us both. Albert will have art shows in Philadelphia and Berlin. My second feature will be finished with post production and be ready for film festivals. There is also some top secret stuff going on that will be sure to entertain you.

Please read Albert's article in The New York Times Magazine's 6th Annual Year In Ideas. You may have to sign up and login before you can read it.

ryan stars in two feature films

Ryan's recent film news includes a month long journey to Utah to shoot his second feature, the independent film Parade, directed by Brandon Cahoon. He plays the main character, Dean Barrett, a high school student who, through countless adventures and misadventures, tries to make sense of young adulthood. More info to follow.



His first feature, the independent film Thing's You Don't Tell is currently seeking distribution and hitting the festival circuit. For more info, please visit the website.



Ryan also recently starred in two short films, The Key and Cool Jerks. the latter of which was featured in print, Rolling Out Magazine, and at the Independent Black Film Festival & Noir Film Festival.

first fan mail story

this was my original post on January, 27 2004:

I have received my first fan mail. To show my appreciation here are the excerpts from the lovely Whitney: "Hey!!! omg ur so fukin hot!!! i want you like so bad. But anyways i thik thats awsome about the cd thing!!! i would give u my address in like omg a total second!! lmao u can have my phone # to lol im so funny!!! well anyways i just I wanted to let you know! lol bye!!!!!"

Curious, I enquired the identity of my first loyal fan and received this reply: "lol oh im sorry me and a friend were doin this gay report thing for chemistry about Catnip. And one of the things we had to do were find out if Catnip was ok for humans. So i was on ask.com and typed "catnip for humans" and i got to ur web thingy me and a friend were just lettin ya know u were a cutie sorry, Bye!!"

I then asked if I could post the e-mail: "lmao!!!!! that'd be great!!!!!!!!!! omg id piss my pants that'd be so funny!!!!lmao and we did get an A++!!!"

So you see, youth of America, the moral of the story is...View this website and your grades will instantly improve. Thank you Whitney for your show of support.

this was second original post on Febraury 4, 2004:

So, after I posted my number one fan's e-mail, there were dire consequences: "lmao that was great. everyone was laughin bout it!lol but my b/f happened to see it! lol."

Just how powerful is the internet? Well, apparently when in my hands, strong enough to destroy love: "oh i got in lost of trouble he broke up with me lol cuz he said i didnt tel him about it and that he would never do that to me. lol oh well! to bad for him."

Great, pimplywimp has ruined it's only fan's love life. I should put that on my resume! All apologies Whitney.

welcome to pimplyblog

this is our new blog to learn about the brothers (albert & ryan). where they've been. where they are. where they are going. or anything else that may be of interest. goodies, links, etc.