near death & auditions

Today I had a rare moment of road rage. It occurred on the 110 freeway, or more specifically the Arroyo Seco Parkway, which is the first freeway in the United States of motherfuzzing America. I'm also pretty certain the Parkway hasn't had any major renovations in my lifetime until this year, as part of Obama's Stimulus Package (not a sexual intercourse joke).

State funded workers changed the charming and historic wood and steel center dividers into concrete. I had always imagined the short wooden pillars one day becoming petrified, long after we abandoned our dependency on gasoline driven cars. Sadly, the new dividers now serve as another surface for vandalism and bad graffiti. Changes are necessary though and I still like Obama and Stimulus Packages (this is a sexual intercourse joke).

Anycrap, the onramps to the Parkway are stop signs with no room to gain any speed. You enter oncoming traffic at almost a complete zero. The speed limit in 1940 was 45mph or 70km/h. I will now use the metric system because I'm opposed to both imperialism and imperial units.

So I'm approaching the onramp, 20 meters away at a speed of 96km/h, and a car enters the Parkway. I slam on my brakes. My tires screech. Is everyone okay? My heart is beating, so yes. I can breathe still. I'm alive. That was a close one. I'm not even mad.

Then I catch up to the car. I see it's an EV, electric vehicle. That pisses me off. How can you be environmentally responsible but you can't double check before veering onto a freeway, on I what I would argue is the most dangerous onramp in all the United States of motherfuzzing America?

Still not in road rage mode, I pursue the car and almost miss my next exit. After I pull alongside the EV, I scope out the driver and his passenger and notice the old dude's rear view mirror. It's totally off kilter. It's literally at 45 degrees. I begin to yell. I follow him and glare as their car exits the freeway.

I arrive minutes later to help audition girls for a new horror web series I will star in for Daily Motion directed by Jake Barsha. It went well. I had to yell at a number of girls and a lot of them cried. I felt bad after. I gave one a high five. I made sure to tell them have a great day. I grabbed a tissue for one from another room.

Just who will get the part, I don't know. Auditioning is a strange process from both sides. A high percentage of the girls did a very good job. A few, not so well. A couple just seemed right for the part. I think there's a lot of luck involved, although I think we predominantly make our own luck.

Oddly enough, I will probably cut someone off on the freeway within the next couple months or do something equally as negligent. I can only hope the outcome is the same or better and somehow a little luck is involved.

The photograph above is an elevated bicycle path that was in the nearby area before the Parkway was built. How awesome would it be if bicycle paths were built like this again? If you use your luck, and you can make anything happen.

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